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Tag: Juicero

This website was archived on July 20, 2019. It is frozen in time on that date.
Exolymph creator Sonya Mann's active website is Sonya, Supposedly.

Indignities of Late Capitalism

I prefer capitalism to the alternatives, but I’ve still gotta laugh (and cringe) at some of the results. Modern life is fucking weird. Links links links…

Juicero is a startup that raised more than $100 million to “reinvent juice” or whatever bullshit. A ground-breaking scoop showed that Juicero’s machines are basically unnecessary. You can squeeze the pre-filled juice bags by hand and get essentially the same result.

The whole Juicero saga made me snort audibly at least once. Thank you, venture capitalists. (Maybe Juicero’s valuation is actually justified because of the amount of amusement it caused?!)

Another tidbit from Silicon Valley; this one is a #shortread: “Investing in Snapchat is something that no one responsible should ever do. Snapchat is the equivalent of driving drunk.”

Tweet by Sarah Jamie Lewis. Insert "this is fine" dog here.

Tweet by Sarah Jamie Lewis. Insert “this is fine” dog here.

Tay Zonday of “Chocolate Rain” fame articulated what’s wrong with journalism better than just about anyone else. He’s also very woke, which somehow surprised me. Man, remember when that video went viral? I did not take him seriously, but apparently I should have.

Sophia Amoruso’s #Girlboss rally creeps me out. Examined through a feminist lens, the name is demeaning — how about a hashtag-less boss who just happens to be a woman? Also, yeah, I’m a woman, not a girl. Plus all the ~omg inspiration~ smacks of multi-level marketing schemes or infoproduct “how to be an entrepreneur” sellers.

There’s more to the Wall Street bull and newly added Fearless Girl sculptures than most of us realized. Capitalist guerilla art + pernicious marketing + the author is dead so who cares anyway. (Every possible take will be written, as the commandments of the internet say!)

Tweet by Charlie Warzel.

Tweet by Charlie Warzel.

Lastly, Louise Mensch thinks that everybody is a Russian agent. She’s pretty close to being Alex Jones for liberals. It honestly seems possible that she’s undergoing some kind of psychotic break and broadcasting the whole process on Twitter.


Header photo by Anthony Quintano.

Slow Down & Don’t Confiscate My Graphical User Interface

Exploratory bot. Photo by Takuya Oikawa.

Exploratory bot. Photo by Takuya Oikawa.

Here’s a fun headline from The Register: “‘Devastating’ bug pops secure doors at airports, hospitals”. I’m sure we’ve all read similar reports before! Enjoy this snippet of the story, for flavor…

“Criminals could waltz into secure zones in airports and government facilities by hacking and jamming open doors from remote computers over the Internet, DVLabs researcher Ricky Lawshae says. […] Lawshae says the attacks, which can open every door in a building, are possible because of a command injection vulnerability in a LED blinking lights service.”

Wait, what? Why is an “LED blinking lights service” hackable? Allow me to note, very unoriginally, that the Internet of Things is dumb. Not every tool or appliance needs to have wifi access jammed into its design specs. The much-mocked “smart juice” startup is the pinnacle of this awful trend.

can u not chloe

I have similar feelings about the bot services craze. People seem to be jumping on this technology without stopping to ponder how it might turn out. When your next venture capital round depends on glossing over potential problems, it’s easy to assume that the impact of your harebrained scheme will be beneficial.

“Conversational commerce” isn’t quite as problematic as the Internet of Things, because it doesn’t pose a security threat (at least not off the top of my head). But people are still building things without considering whether their chosen medium fits the stated purpose of the tool. The last thing I want from an app is a replica of the phone call, this time rendered in text.

I demand clickable buttons! Give me a GUI or give me death! On the other hand, maybe I’m a dirty Luddite. Perhaps I should resign myself to relearning how to interact with computers every couple of years. I’m not against experimentation — what futurist could be? — but my mood is decidedly curmudgeonly tonight. Also, fuck Snapchat.

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